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Intuition and all the Angels not in Heaven By Frater M.O. | |
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.  I hope you don't mind if we dive into the sweaty cavernous depths of my skull. A fond memory has crossed my mind that I thought I would share. The time was back in my early twenties, I had just started along my occult path. She had full lips, a button nose and tight curlicue ringlets of endless flaxen hair. She worked for a prominent political figure and was soft spoken, bright and well educated. She also had humongous cow tits that initially caught my eyes more so than that other crap.We had been dating for a month or so and things were moving along nicely. On this particular evening we had gone dancing and had a drink or two too many although I decided to play designated driver. She suggested a moonlight stroll down by the beach, which was only a few short blocks away. It was late but she looked beautiful and it was a cool clear night. The stars seemed brighter than normal. As we held hands basking in the glow of young love I noticed her weaving stride down the street. She stumbled but never fell as I had a tight grip. I smiled at her shining face and thought about how lucky I was to be with her. We were still holding hands when we sat on the refreshing night sand. The waves crashed in the distance. We watched other young lovers stroll by. She closed her eyes and placed her head upon my shoulder. I pretended not to notice her unsteady cranium trying to find balance. I placed my arm around her for support. When she finally spoke I could smell the full rich aroma of many stale alcoholic beverages seep from her lips... and from the pores of most of her body. I could only hear caroling angels sing. We eventually took off our shoes and socks placing our feet in the soft cool sand. Then she stood up and wrestled off every stitch of clothing and ran naked, screaming gibberish into the black night and pounding surf. I implored her to watch for jellyfish as I stood guard over her beer-soaked outfit and unmentionables. When she reappeared from the vacuous evening air like she was whisked in on a magical wind of deep violet with her enormous cow tits blanketed in wet sand. "Fuck me, fuck me now!" she loudly slurred several times. Many of the strolling young lovers turned around to feast on this clearly repulsive moment. I barely noticed their shock as my angel continued her song of romance, "would you fuck me already yet!" After some quick thinking and after I wiped the vomit and clumped mascara from her lips, we made sweet love in a garbage can. Afterward we walked back to my car, hand in hand in staggered silence. She wore no pants. She would only put on a bra and my jacket as I dreamily thought how truly lucky I was. Later I would pull out a piece of broken glass from her foot. I haven't thought about this woman in a very long time and today her name escapes me but we did continue to go out for a while longer. I am sure that if you would have asked me I would have told you that I was in love. At 22 I think I believed this was what love was supposed to be. On a grander scale I think a few friends were jealous of me, of my trophy. I had attained a goal not only by my standards but, by most everyone else's standards. So what's the problem? The problem was that I knew better. The deeper part of my being knew this wasn't whom I wanted or needed. By the way I need to declare that water seeks it's own level and I certainly understand that she was my social equal but on the intuitive level there was no doubt that I knew better. My spiritual growth is not that I learn more things and eventually act on this new knowledge so I can achieve more. It is that the secret small little voice in the back of my head is always there and always has a better plan. It's usually quieter than the other greedier voice but remains a constant. My spiritual growth comes from trusting this small voice and acting upon its Light. My growth comes from listening to my intuition and acting upon it without worrying about what others may think and what the social ramifications are. Does this make that naked moppet I once dated a bad person? Of course not. I loved walking down a public street with some wasted hose-monkey on my arm... that was a keen part of her charms. I knew this was not the person for me but continued seeing her because I had a few good reasons, all ego based, to stay with her. Intuitively I know right from wrong. I preferred to pretend that I don't. A thought just occurred to me as I sit here and write. Does ignoring my intuition keep me closed to the deeper possibilities of my being? Does keeping a blind eye to the warnings and red flags in my life just create a blind eye? Unfortunately the answer is yes. Use it or lose it certainly applies here. I honor the gifts I'm given by using them. Magically speaking my intuition in turn honors me by keeping the doors open to information and insight, which allows me to lead a smoother, happier life. Questions, comments and hate mail are strongly encouraged. By the way these thoughts do not necessarily reflect the ideals of Cor Lucis as a whole or its members... but they might. Love is the law, love under will.
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