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Historical Futurism By Frater M.O. | |
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. 
His had snoopy on the front and it was made of industrial strength space age plastic. Hers was metal and showed 3-d pictures of the Land of the Lost on it with a Sleestack thermos. Mine was an undersized used brown paper bag that my mother probably bought tampons with. There was always a huge dark grease stain on the side that overlapped my name written in humiliating red marks-a-lot. But everyone knew whose it belonged to without the red marks-a-lot.His contained a ham and swiss with a neatly manicured crust that was carefully tucked in a sandwich baggie. There was Dijon mustard and a succulent kosher dill quarter sliced. Hers contained peanut butter and jelly... well it was strawberry preserves really; they got it from their trip to the country (just like the trips my family never went on.). In her thermos there was delicious homemade tomato soup that she got to eat with a special spoon shaped like Piglet. Mine had two slices of the morbidly unpopular wheat-berry bread... usually an oddball end piece, a single slice of greasy bologna, a dented apple with a big brown soft spot on it and an old receipt for tampons. I couldn't call it a sandwich because without any condiments the bread never stayed together leaving me with an apple wrapped in bologna and two lonely dry pieces of bread. Welcome to my childhood in general, but particularly at lunchtime. I can't remember all the different ways I was picked on but I certainly remember how much I dreaded bringing that bagged shame to school every morning. I also dread still owning some of the feelings of not fitting in flawlessly in the world today. Looking back I reminisce fondly over many of these silly memories. The little bit of pain that accompanied those memories has long since been forgotten. I no longer pine away for the little girl who wasn't thrilled by me giving her a piece of black licorice or the fact I seldom had the right accouterments to excel socially in the early years of elementary school. The difficulties in my life today appear bigger just as I am bigger than when I was brown-bagging it to school. But there are none as serious or as important as the right lunch box was way back when. Of course now that I'm a grown up, I'm supposed to know what is significant and what's just fluff. Will my occasional feelings of pain continue to haunt me or will they be just a punchline in another of my little essays in the future? I'm pretty sure Rafiki; the shaman/political advisor monkey from the Lion King said, "Yes, the past can hurt." He was one smart monkey. One thing that is for certain I have come to honor the difficulties in my life because they have brought me to where I am today... I like who I have become. I also truly relish in the moment when times are good and free from difficulty. I don't know why I need to deal with certain things at certain times in my life. I have developed faith that the Universe's path for me brought me through the trials of life so that I may find my own truth for today. In another way I can see the value of finding the sources of my sore spots because it is only then that I can learn from the experience and put it in its proper place... mostly as funny memories. Okay so we're getting a little too much therapy and not utilizing our magical selves. Consider this... in a magical way we may also explore the possibility of dealing with old problems in new ways. Every social foible, every obstacle that shows up is nothing more than an opportunity to restrict (the Kabbalistic concept of taking contrary action). There is no Light in taking the easy way out. I find gratitude in those moments that are uncomfortable. I experience the pain, embarrassment, and etceteras head-on. I recognize it's the hard parts that make my life the success it is, the narrower road being the path where the most Light will be found. In my experience, this is the most powerful magick for finding contentment. Hakuna Matata!! Love is the law, love under will. Frater M.O. PS: For those of you who are shouting that Crowley said, "Restriction" is the worst thing in the world... don't worry I'll get to the differences next time. Questions, comments and hate mail are strongly encouraged. By the way these thoughts do not necessarily reflect the ideals of Cor Lucis as a whole or its members... but they might.
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