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Book of Shadows A Review by Soror I.T.L. | |
 So there I was, swaying in the sweltering, sticky heat of the Southeastern Ohio Summer Solstice with some 200 other women. This was the big Women's Ritual for the Pagan Spirit Gathering of 2000. And we were chanting Divine Feminine phrases and shouting out the names of our favorite goddesses. "Kali," shouted one woman. "Isis," shouted another. "Sekmet," shouted yet another. "I am woman hear me roar," I whispered to Tina, the hereditary witch standing next to me. We dissolved into giggles. But it was the crying out of "Sheba" that really got me into trouble. Tina whispered "Meow, meow, meow," just like in the cat food commercial, and I continued helplessly giggling well into the awed hush that fell over our gathering.A blonde woman dressed in the sexiest witchy black was walking around the inside of the circle. She stopped in front of me, wagged her fingers sternly, smiled and warned: "Close your eyes. You do not want to see Hecate. Oh no, you do not want to look upon Hecate." That was my first rather awkward face–to-face contact with Phyllis Curott, Celebrity Witch, Wiccan High Priestess, Manhattan Lawyer, Public Pagan Champion, Advocate for Wiccan Spirituality. And Author. Not that I hadn't noticed her during the weeklong Pagan festivities. As a tall, built, blonde, Curott did indeed stand out amongst that particular Pagan gathering. So did the fact that a standing room only crowd braved a stormy Ohioan evening to watch her sitting on stage, nonchalantly exhibiting long legs that that went all the way to, well, the ground, while discussing her first book, Book of Shadows, A Modern Woman's Journey into the Wisdom of Witchcraft and the Magic of the Goddess. I looked. I halfway listened. I maintained that Wicca was not my cup of tea. After all, I was one of a handful of Ceremonial Magicians at the event. We have to study and take tests to move up in degrees. And while there are Wiccan groups that maintain a standard of study, there are those Wiccans who can just come out and say: "I'm a Witch. I can do whatever I want to do as long as I harm none." And even though it was against my own moral ground and the Thelemic ethical standards set out in the Book of the Law (Ch. 1, verse 56), I was inwardly amused by the Fey (Fairy) Wiccans with their ear extensions, the way-of-the-warrior Asatrus who couldn't tell a good saga if it bit them in the ass, the Polyamorous Pagans who saw their path as a great excuse for an orgy... So, In case you aren't getting it, I've had absolutely, positively no interest in Wicca. I didn't get—or want to get—the difference between Gardnerian, Alexandrian, Reclaiming and Eclectic Witches. That was until just a few months ago when I was at the Alexandria II bookstore, looking for a teen Pagan book to give my niece for her 16th birthday and to piss off my Catholic sister-in-law at the same time. Phyllis Curott's Book of Shadows fell off the shelf. The photograph on cover brought back memories of that Pagan Spirit Gathering. Hmmm... Book of Shadows, I mused aloud. I thought the Book of Shadows, or grimoire, was the reference guide, a bible or Book of the Law with recipes if you will, that establishes the foundation for those studying the Craft. In my mind, Curott's title seemed a bit presumptuous. No way to Wicca, I thought to myself. That day, in addition to the Teen Witch book, I bought a little tome on Quabalah (which I have yet to read) and a mystery novel, Murder at Witch's Bluff by Silver RavenWolf (which I voraciously read in one night). I have probably been in the Alexandria II at least a cajillion times since then. On my most recent visit to buy a Pagan-esque book for my brother (and piss off his increasingly uptight Catholic wife) Curott's Book of Shadows literally jumped right into my hands. I bought it and read it from cover to cover over a two-day period, while ignoring all professional responsibilities in my life. In other words, I was completely engaged by Curott's autobiographical tale of how an Ivy League lawyer became a witch. But Book of Shadows is more than just a nice witch's coming-of-age journal. It is a story about a woman, who, in many ways, is just like me. Curott grew up in an open-minded, well-read, non-religious family. Her career has placed her smack in the center of what is still a man's world. She had no interest in things spiritual until her mid-twenties. (I was an even later bloomer, who began my spiritual quest in my late 30s.) She had been having visions, coming in "psychic flashes, premonitions and even precognitive dreams." A confirmed skeptic, she sat on the fence with her dreams and visions, until her close friend, a solitary witch, practically dragged her to her first Tarot reading, which was done by a Wiccan High Priestess. Curott's question was about where her path lies. And, thus, the beginning of her journey... Book of Shadows chronicles Curott's path to initiation into the Wicca tradition and how she deals with her newfound spirituality in her mundane workaholic world. The story opens in 1978, with Curott in her last year of law school. She has a series of psychic episodes and mysterious foretelling dreams. And for some reason, the Goddess Isis keeps popping into her head. Being the investigative person that she is, Curott hangs out in libraries, studying the Egyptian Book of the Dead and is absolutely fascinated by Isis's story. "My law books remained closed that night as I read Isis's lamentation for the death of Osiris. I traveled with her into the depths of the nether realms to heal his wounded form, journeyed through the rich Nile valley and through the desert gathering the 13 pieces of Osiris's body that had been torn asunder by his envious and angry brother Set... I marveled at ancient mysteries and the magical powers of love that could summon back life from the realms of death. But still I wondered what did these lost miracles have to do with me." Then this most sensible law student began reading quantum physics between classes. She learned how quantum physics experiments have proven that we can influence objects, people and events. And she was awestruck by the implications, by the scientifically proven fact that we create our reality in virtually magical ways. "I had stumbled into a universe of astonishing possibility. Still, science couldn't help explain the quality of my experiences—why the world was now intoxicatingly alive, full of wonder and miracles, strange events and shimmering beauty. Most exhilarating of all was the unshakable feeling of a presence observing, accompanying and even guiding me. I began to sense I was in touch with an élan vital, an intelligent and creative universe." And all this, the opening up of the gate to the magical space between the worlds, happens within the space of the first nine pages. For Curott, however, this magical sensation goes on hiatus once she obtains her law degree. Her first job out is as an idealistic lawyer In Washington D.C., working to clean up unions. But when funding for that position runs out, she realizes that she is missing her forays into the mystical world and returns to New York. She holds a variety of jobs as a lawyer and band manager. While she is working in the music business, a friend (that solitary witch mentioned earlier in this piece) introduces Curott to the High Priestess Tarot Card Reader who invites her to join a women's study group that eventually becomes her training circle in Wicca. But it's not like Curott wholeheartedly dives into the Wiccan path. Oh no, this Wiccan trainee's skepticism abounds about 20th Century witches. After all, she just landed a new "dream" job as an entertainment lawyer with a high-powered entertainment law firm where she's working for a well known, highly respected, scum-of-the-earth asshole partner. And witches, well, witches carry their own stereotyped images. But, as her schedule permits, she continues to participate in the study group. The study group is soon pared down to a circle of selected "witchlings." Under the wings of High Priestesses Nonna, Bellona and Maia, Curott begins mastering exercises and developing the skills necessary to do magic. She begins ritual work. And she participates in a lot of discussions about the theory and practice of magic. They talk about Aleister Crowley's definition of magic versus Dion Fortune's definition. One discussion led by Nonna struck a particular chord for me—and for Curott: ‘"Magic is not about controlling another person, but about bringing your own divine power into fullest expression or manifestation. We don't seek to command, but to create. Magic, when done properly, brings you into alignment with the powers of the sacred universe, so that they may assist you in giving form to your true purpose, your reason for being.'" Aha, so true will comes up even in Wiccan circles. But more on that later. This study group, this Wiccan circle, becomes more and more important in Curott's life. Her relationships with the other women, her sisters in the circle, continue to grow. And, in the testosterone world of entertainment law, the circle becomes a weekly safe space. She calls it her "weekly vacation where the world opened in ways that money couldn't buy." But this story is more than Curott's spiritual journey. It also includes how her study of Wicca affected her personal and professional life. Curott describes how she gained the upper hand in negotiations with a nasty, condescending misogynistic band manager who was, as expected, pissed off at the shift in power. The guy had the nerve to grab Curott's breasts. Curott's reaction was to reach around and squeeze his ass with her fingernails extended and make snide remarks about the size of his penis, after explaining that she saw no further need for personal meetings on the deal. "I laughed the rest of the day. And I learned something about sending energy back from whence it came. It wasn't my mind that reacted—It was my body. It knew how to protect me, to respond in kind. Just a few months ago, my mind would have been paralyzed with embarrassment and confusion, which was exactly what Marshall [the band manager] had intended with his crude attack." Later that evening, however, the reality of what happened began to set in and Curott became aware of an entirely different feeling: "I felt violated. I proved that I had what it took to win. But I was becoming someone I didn't want to be... And then the insight came: I had grown up learning to fight for others, to fight for noble causes, but I'd never really learned to fight for myself...It began to dawn on me that my life had become the battleground of my ideals. I remembered Nonna's [the High Priestess] words that I could not heal others until I had healed myself—perhaps it was also true that I could not fight for others until I'd learned to fight for myself." She also begins to look at her life, and life in general, in a more symbolic sense. "With divinatory tools and altered states, we can see the deep archetypal and sacred forces at work in our lives, and most important, we can see their meaning, rising from the depths of our unconscious to the conscious light of our daily vision. Meaning cannot be quantified in the manner required for scientific proof. We find it instead in context, symbols, patterns, myths, stories, cultures, rituals, poetry—all are maps of insight into the nature of our sacred being." In terms of her personal transformations, Curott scatters stories of how magic has affected her life throughout this book. She becomes more psychically attuned to the emotions of people around her. She learns to really let go of things and feelings that she's outgrown. And, as her description of this profound scene after one circle where they did rune work shows, she develops a wonderful new sense of self: "At home that night, I stood before the mirror, wondering at the mystery of life before me. There was far more to the person who looked back at me than I ever imagined. I had thought of the mysterious universe that I had first encountered as a presence ‘out there'; but now I was discovering how much of that hidden yet ever-present spirit also existed within me. She had only begun to emerge from the shadows." And later in her journey, a week or so after a particularly visual and harrowing banishing ritual, she comes to this revelation about the shadow: "I now know you must be prepared to face your worst nightmare before you can free yourself from it. You must name your demon and you must confront him. This is the journey that fives you strength and compassion, wisdom and freedom, and reverence for life. This is the journey I was undertaking." And that is what this year-and-a-day snippet of Curott's life is really all about, self-discovery and working one's true will. It is a valuable documentation of working a magical path, albeit a Wiccan magical path, leading to the knowledge and conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel. I notice that I wrote "Wiccan magical path" as if it were a "less than" path for reaching toward the divine. But, after reading Curott's book, that is far from the truth. In fact, I found this spiritual practice, which embraces the body as well as the mind and focuses on working in harmony with nature, quite intriguing. I liked the circle chants and the dancing and the drumming. And the rituals? Well, the rituals Curott describes in some detail have a central mythological basis that is moving and engages the emotions. For me, Book of Shadows has been a powerful read, a real mind opener to other alternative spiritual path. It raises several questions about how to balance feminine and masculine energies, how to stay in touch with the Goddess and the earth. However, this is not a "how to be a witch" book. But readers may find the description of rituals along appendix in the back with table of correspondences, spell, charms and potions, and the resources list quite helpful in developing their own spiritual practice in search of their true will. For more info or to purchase "Book of Shadows", click here.
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